i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize