And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
