I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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