the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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