I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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