Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
