not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize