It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
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