Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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