that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
