Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
