Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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