i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
