The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
