whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
