K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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