I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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