I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
