I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize