where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
