im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
