If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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