Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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