Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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