Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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