I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
