wrigley field is MILF paradise
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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