Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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