no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
