I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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