Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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