She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
