Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
That's intense
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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