Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
