dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
