Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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