I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
