The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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