this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
