I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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