and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize