the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
