if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
