God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Who died my cat blue again?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
