oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
