i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
