He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
