Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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