Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
