handjob tips. give me some.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
