Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
wow bdsm is so cute
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
