let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
