Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
