i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
