not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
