So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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