is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
