That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize