If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
