So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize