Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's blow job season.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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